I just got the shock of my life

I always have been, will continue to be amazed by how fast things can change and how fast relationships can end.

I mean the bottom line is, relationships end, marriages don't always turn into till death do us part and let's face it, although we say for richer or for poorer, the number one reason for divorce is money trouble.

Well, either financial or infedelity, not sure which is number one, but I know that money claims it's fair share of marriages.

Either way anything can happen, at anytime; change can happen at anytime. There are things that you cannot prepare for, that you cannot alter, change or prevent from happening and as much as I hate to admit it, divorce is one of those things.

*There Is Hope

It's not completely preventable, there are things you can do to avoid it; to prevent it. For starters, learn to work out your differences, learn to talk instead of arguing.

**Learn to listen; actively listen. Not just wait to talk.

**You're not always going to be wrong and you're not always going to be right. Learn to just let the other person be right every once in awhile.

**Don't go to bed angry, don't let issues go unresolved. You'd be surprised how fast they go from little issues to big issues.

**Be clear, be direct, communicate your wants, wishes and needs. Discuss your problems in a clear, consise and direct manner.

**Have a date night, even if it is just sitting around talking with a glass of wine (or your drink of choice for that matter).

**Limit your time on Myspace, Facebook and other networking sites (yes, even if it is job networking-related.

**Do not just celibrate another wedding anniversary, think of it as a real milestone, use it to reflect on how far you've come.

**People always change, as we grow and mature, as does our tastes, interests, hobbies and friends. For the most part, always be in tune with those changes and change with that person; not against them.

**Of course there is the obvious, don't lie or cheat, but a lot can be accomplished by keeping the lines of communication open, being sensitive to ones needs and wants, a kind word and/or a little gesture can go a long way.

**Hear what is being said, not what you think is being said, hence active listening.

**Bury the hatchet, let by gones be by gones.

**Easier said than done

I know it is not always easy or ever is nor ever was supposed to be easy, take the opportunity, when you get the opportunity.

This sounds simplified coming from somebody who isn't married and never has been. Somebody who has never had a long term relationship, (longest relationship; 3 years this March and counting).

And technically, other than not having made the commitment, taken the vows and made anything legal, we are not that far off. We live together as husband and wife, we have pretty much thoughout our relationship and despite our ages or our signs (Him-Aries, me-Libra), we have made it work this long

*Take it as advice or whatever you want or don't take it at all, I am not speaking for just marriage, I am speaking for all our relationships in our lives.

A consorted effort goes a long way in any relationship.

Keep Hubbing

Franki